Politically Correct Madness!

Politically Correct Madness!

He does not have a beer gut; he has developed a liquid grain storage facility.
He is not quiet; he is a conversational minimalist.
He is not stupid; he suffers from minimal cranial development.
He does not get lost; he discovers alternative destinations.
He is not balding; he is in follicle regression.
He is not a cradle robber; he prefers generationally differential relationships.
He does not get falling-down drunk; he becomes accidentally horizontal.
He is not short; he is anatomically compact.
He does not constantly talk about cars; he has a vehicular addiction.
He is not unsophisticated; he is socially malformed.
He does not hog the blankets; he is thermally unappreciative.
He is not a male chauvinist pig; he has swine empathy.
He doesn't have a dirty mind; he has introspective pornographic moments.
He is not afraid of commitment; he is monogamously challenged.